Watch Red Bricks Turn Yellow

Tonight was probably the most fun I've had in a while.



Oh, it's like that?



Yea, it's like that.



Big shout outs to the following: The Machinists Hands for the obvious reasons, Sun Brother, a few random people, "Heartless Delaware", and my old heads for the lessons. If I missed you then I don't miss you.

Negativity is a disease. Stay positive. If you need anything come find me:





braveheart.

p.s. "Fear Of Failure" coming soon.

Gold Medal Kids

This is the future.

I’m writing this from the edge of the world. This is from me to you; you being the past. The four of us have grown up in a different world. I’m not really sure if there was a plan for us, but certain events have taken place that made us who we are.

In the future everything is artificial. Nature has been destroyed by technology. Everything in the world is manufactured now. Air, drinking water, wood, fire… It is all fake. The only nature that isn’t erased are the oceans. That is where they are sending me. Somewhere deep beneath the surface. 20,000 leagues under the sea and then some.

The problem was that, at some point, our society become too technologically advanced for anything natural to exist. Once we burned up all the natural resources that we depended on, we had to find a way to manufacture them artificially. There wasn’t really an exact day, month, or year that this happened, it was just a gradual slide. We got used to it.

Today is the last day before I step foot on the submarine. I’ve convinced myself that this is going to be my last day alive. Even if I do come back, I’m not going to be the same. Actually, I might be the same, but it will be everyone else that changed. Either way, I’m either dying or becoming a stranger. All I know is that they will never figure out a way to manufacture this passion.

A few months ago I dropped out of school and decided to work. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. One day some guy in a suit gave me a flyer for a government funded exploration project to the deepest part of the ocean. I signed up and went through all the training involved. I didn’t really want to do it, but the money was good. I was and still am aware of the risks, but I don’t really care. I didn’t care. Now that I’m less than 24 hours away I’m terrified.

They made it seem pretty interesting and it still is. I could see through all the typical bull shit, I know this will be a breakthrough but I know the cost for me is much greater than any number on a paycheck. All the other guys going are really nice, but I don’t feel any connection to them other than loose associates. I’m not too sure that dying together will be such a great bonding experience. I left all my human connection back home.

I hate to break this to everybody, but Delaware was first. Other states have their own claims to fame, but Delaware is and always will be the First State. Gold medal winners. Heavyweight champions. That is where I’m from. It is also the state that watched my three best friends enjoy their high school graduations without their fathers. I’ll always hate this state for that. Nobody ever gave them a chance. Nobody ever cared. To this day I’ve never met three people filled with more passion than them. There is an energy when we are together. We camouflage our feelings. You know how people say that you can see the years on a persons face? We are forever young. Through deaths and departures our youth shines through. That is why we are the gold medal kids. First place against all odds.

But at the same time, we are old beyond our years. Jaded and empty. No innocence. Lack of emotion. I’ve heard other people say it as much as I’ve said it to myself. You really have to put yourself under a microscope to realize it. I’ve broken myself down into particles of protein, bone marrow, and fatty tissue, then pieced it all back together, and for as many times a day that I question myself I never find an answer. But I will never stop searching. My legs are tired from it all. Like I've been running for thousands of miles. My mind never tires.

Thinking back, I never could have imagined a world like this. No trees, no grass, no forests, no scenery. A gray world. It makes me realize now that the only reason I ever loved the city was because right outside the limits there was always a colorful valley to balance out the gray. Like sweet and sour. Now that everything is a city block, I kind of hate it.

You know what they say, you never miss your water until your well runs dry.

Its funny now, remembering my last days back home. The last person I talked to was a girl that I barely knew. It was weird that I opened up to her about my fear. I don’t like to tell people things about my personal life or how I feel about certain subjects. I told her how I scared I was of this. She told me that everything would be okay and that I deserve everything I get. You can’t help but love that optimism. The truth is, I do deserve everything I get. Whether it be good, bad, beautiful, or ugly, I deserve it.

The day before that my friend and I were joking about if I‘d ever come back from this exploration or if I would just become lost at sea. I don’t remember the whole conversation but the last thing he said to me was “knock on wood.”

I stopped in my tracks. I had never been more scared then that moment in my entire life. It is why I’m still scared right now.

After I looked around, the entire world I lived in flashed in front of me. There was no wood anywhere.

William Braveheart Wallace

This is dedicated to Ace, D-Rock, TCP, and the Weasel a.k.a Sun Brother... the true Gold Medal Kids. Thank you for your inspiration. Constant progress.

Bear witness to the greatest.

Uno.