“Okay, let’s get this started. Your name is Thomas… how do you pronounce your last name?”
“That doesn’t matter. I go by Thomas.”
“Well I’m glad you came to see me. I guess we can start whenever you’re ready.”
“I guess I’m just tired… and for the record I didn’t come to see you.”
“Right, okay. What are you tired of?”
“I guess I’m just tired of writing and talking and thinking about all of the same shit. I don’t want to talk about the city anymore or anyone that lives there. I don’t want to write about the liquids dripping off of me. I don’t want to write about the sun rising in the East because I can’t see it anymore. We’re splattered across the West.”
“What do you mean you didn’t come to see me? Who is in the West?”
“The sun is in the West. That’s where it rises. Google it. Wikipedia it. Whatever you want to do. That’s where that shit comes up. All this time I’ve been in the East thinking the world was round, but it’s not.”
“Why do you think it’s flat, Thomas?”
“When did I say I thought it was flat?”
“Well, you didn’t. But if you don’t think it’s round, then you must think it’s flat.”
“Ah. You are a slick one, Doc. That’s why I like you. The world is flat.”
“Why do you think that?”
“How else do people just fall in and out of you. Where do they go?”
“Well… I think that people enter and exit your life for a reason… even if that reason isn’t always clear.”
“That sounds like basic fucking bull shit, Doc.”
“The world is round Thomas.”
“The world is round. I don’t know, you know, I’m going to have to disagree with you. I’ve had a lot of friends make promises to me that they didn’t keep. I thought more.”
“Can you expand on that thought?”
“You know what? I have a question for you this time.”
“Well, go right ahead and ask, Thomas.”
“How many trucks are on an American military base?”
“I don’t know, Thomas. That’s an interesting question. I think it would vary from base to base.”
“No. There is 1.”
“That doesn’t seem right.”
“The truck you are referring to is called a vehicle. A “truck” is the gold ball on top of a flag pole. On American military bases there is a “truck” on top of the flag pole that is outside of Building 1, the Command Post. Do you want to know what is inside the truck?”
“Sure.”
“There is a razor, matches, and a loaded .38. You see, the flag is sacred and will never be surrendered. In the event that the enemy has overrun the base or post, the flag pole will be knocked over and the gold ball will be opened by the last soldier alive. The razor will be used to cut the flag off of the pole. The matches will be used to burn the American flag because the flag will not be desecrated by the enemy. Surrendering the flag to the enemy admits defeat and we will not admit defeat. The loaded .38 will be used by the remaining soldier on himself. The enemy will not take him alive. It is unlawful to surrender yourself when there is still a chance for victory and suicide will always prevent the soldier from revealing any information to the enemy. We will not let you take our flag. We will not give up the ship.”
“I don’t really see how that’s relevant.”
“Aren’t you the doctor? Analyze that shit.”
“Just what are you so afraid of?”
“I’m afraid that my children will be forgotten and I will be forgotten with them.”
“That sound reasonable, but why do you feel it’s so necessary to be remembered?”
“I’ve heard that if you kill someone and keep them inside of a wall they don’t go to Heaven or Hell. I mean, I wouldn’t really know because I’ve never killed or been killed, but I’ve been told that the Grim Reaper can’t get to the body if it’s inside of a wall. They soul is stuck inside of the body. That’s terrible isn’t it? There are lives in the walls… life in the walls and they can’t be saved because God forgot to tell them that you‘re not supposed to die in the walls.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Guess what, Doc? I can make music with my fingers.” (snaps)
“Why don’t you try channeling your thoughts, Thomas?”
“No more questions, Doc. I just want to go to sleep now. You know, sometimes I think my dreams are real life and that real life is all a dream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.”
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And days of long ago !
For old long ago, my dear
For old long ago,
We will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago.
We two have run about the hillsides
And pulled the daisies fine,
But we have wandered many a weary foot
For old long ago.
We two have paddled (waded) in the stream
From noon until dinner time,
But seas between us broad have roared
Since old long ago.
And there is a hand, my trusty friend,
And give us a hand of yours,
And we will take a goodwill draught (of ale)
For old long ago!
And surely you will pay for your pint,
And surely I will pay for mine!
And we will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago!
Dial tone.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
-Hello?
-Hey, how are you?
-Who is this? Thomas? Is that you?
-Yea, it’s me. It’s… it’s Thomas.
-Oh my God! It’s so good to hear from you. How are you?
-I’m good. I’m… I’m doing well. How are you?
-I’m great! Just finishing up school for the semester. I can’t believe you called! What was it like?
-(Laughs) Well, um, you definitely can’t get dessert. I mean, it was okay.
-No dessert? That’s terrible. Do they yell?
-Yea, they yell. A lot. But you get used to it. Yea, it’s… you get used to it.
-And you just take it?
-Well… (laughs) you can’t really do anything about it.
-I’d never survive there.
-You’d be surprised. (laughs)
-So where are you going to be?
-I don’t know yet. Hopefully… um, I’m hoping for something… I don’t know.
-When are you coming back? I want to take you out for your birthday.
-It’s going to be awhile. I think. I’m not sure yet. Can we maybe talk about something else?
-Well, yea, sure. What do you want to talk about?
-Tell me about yourself. Tell me about what you’ve doing… everything.
-Thomas, you know enough about me. I’ve just been out with the girls. Having fun, getting into to trouble. The usual.
-I hope not too much trouble.
-No. Not too much trouble. Just a little.
-Good, good. Sounds like you’ve been having a great time.
-I still can’t believe you just left like that.
-Hey. Stop it. Stop. Not now.
-I’m serious, Thomas. I want to turn this thing around. You never really knew…
-Listen to me. You’ve had longer to get over it than me so I don’t want to even get into to it.
-So I guess your hair is a little shorter?
-Yea it is. It’s umm… it’s not bad. I really like it here. I’ve made some great friends and it’s pretty cool.
-That’s really good. I’m glad. Um… I’m getting another call from my… um… a friend, so can I call you back?
-You don’t have to call me back. It’s okay.
-No, I will. I promise.
-Just have fun tonight and be safe. Good-bye.
Dial tone.
-Hi, this is Thomas. I can’t get to my phone right now so just leave a message and I’ll get back to you.
-Hey! I was just giving you a call back like I said I would. Um… I guess you’re a little busy right now so, um, just give me a call back whenever you get a chance. Whenever you get a chance. Whenever you get a chance.
Row, row, row, your boat gently down the fucking stream.
ME
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